I first heard about Sai Baba about 30 years ago. A dear friend of mine, a holocaust survivor from Holland and a psychologist, used to talk about Him as someone who materializes things. As nothing more meaningful was told, I ignored her stories and was sure to have no interest in that magician. Years later I found a small booklet in her library. On its cover was an old picture of an unusual smiling face.
I asked about it and was told that it is Him, Sai Baba. Still not making any connection, I felt as though a magnet was attracting me to this energy in the form of the booklet. I asked her whether I could borrow it, without even knowing what I was asking for. She replied, “Only if you will give it back to me.” But I heard another strange answer in myself – “I’ll give it back only if she asks for it back; this is mine.” Everything was mysterious and unfamiliar to me. The name of this booklet was Shanthi Vahini.
I almost could not understand a single word in the text, as many words there were in Sanskrit. Still, I could not lay it down. I knew I have to translate it to my language, Hebrew, to better understand it and to feel it more deeply. Years passed and this mysterious experience has never left me. The booklet has never been reclaimed. In 1995 Sai Baba's name was mentioned again, by a couple that had just arrived from America to Israel, and had been sharing their experiences of meeting Him. Some of us were eager to listen more. I found myself coming weekly to find out how the attraction to a guru [in that time He was for us a guru] could be harmonized with the formless God of Judaism. A few months later, I was riding on a bus when a huge golden blinding light suddenly came in front of my eyes. My head was taken. I could not open my eyes because of the strong light.
This golden ball became Baba’s face. Tears started falling on my face. Although I was in the bus I could not stop them from coming. My heart was beating strongly and for the first time I felt the deep pain in my heart – the pain of that powerful Love. A kind of Love I never knew before. Slowly I came to sense His presence, in guidance as well as in dreams, and to trust that it is not my imagination. Only in 1998 was I called to come to India for the first time, where I immediately felt home and rejoiced in an unknown happiness and freedom. An interview with Sai Baba that followed shortly after led me to another experience. Just before entering the interview, I heard in my head very strongly, “You will be the only one I will not talk to verbally. You are destined to learn to listen the voice of God, which can be heard only in deep silence.” Indeed, I was the only person in that interview to whom He did not speak. This event marked a new chapter in my journey. Here are the three most meaningful messages that I received in my first two visits to Baba: 1. “First Be – then do.” 2. “Go beyond my form.” 3. “It is not me who loves, but LOVE IS.” My life has changed. What was initially considered as a mere guru came to be experienced as a Divine embodied manifestation. The permanent reflection of who I Am. What was originally taken as “this is mine”, when I held the booklet, transformed into - THIS IS. LOVE IS.
Thank you, Vivian Savitri
Received: October, 2012